An Utterly Odd Cliché
by HermioneMew
Summary: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! I WROTE A MAGIC FLUTE CLICHE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh vell, 'twas inevitable. ^_^ R/R please! Thanky-tays!


An Utterly Odd Cliche  
  
A/N: Yay! I wrote the world's (or ff.n's, at least) first Magic Flute  
cliche! *hee hee*  
  
~GERMAN TRANSLATIONS~  
Die Drei Damen: The Three Ladies  
Erste Dame: First Lady  
Zweite Dame: Second Lady  
Dritte Dame: Third Lady  
  
Der Drei Knaben: The Three Boys  
Erster Knabe: First Boy  
Zweiter Knabe: Second Boy  
Dritter Knabe: Third Boy  
  
Zwei Priestern: Two priests  
Erster Priester: First Priest  
Zweiter Priester: Second Priest  
  
dieser, dies: this  
  
Konigin der Nacht: Queen of the Night  
  
Me: Me! ^_^  
  
START CLICHE  
  
Me: Perhaps today is a good day for doing something new! Maybe I can discover a new planet! *thinks* Nah. Maybe I can cure a disease! *thinks* Nah. I know...*gasps* I'LL WRITE THE WORLD'S FIRST MAGIC FLUTE CLICHE!!!!!! FWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Ok, this is pretty silly. I'll try to be...coherent, not serious, but coherent. *sits at computer and ignores the fact it's bad for your eyes*  
  
Tamino: How fitting. I'm the first character to appear in the opera and the first to appear in this too.  
  
Erste Dame: Nuh-uh! The orchestra dudes appear first!  
  
Tamino: But they're just playing the overture!  
  
Zweite Dame: You think you're so IMPORTANT and all!  
  
Tamino: I do not!  
  
Zweite Dame: Do too!  
  
Tamino: Do not!  
  
Zweite Dame: Do too!  
  
Tamino: Do not!  
  
Dritte Dame: STILLE!!!!!!!!!!! ^^Shut up!^^  
  
Papageno: Isn't that Tamino's line?  
  
Me: Only in "Wie? Wie? Wie? Ihr an diesem Schreckensort".  
  
(Note: That's the name of an aria. You shouldn't really care what it translates to, it's not relevant.)  
  
Papageno: *appears out of nowhere* Now I shall get revenge for all those times you told me to shut up! *dives for Tamino's throat*  
  
Tamino: Nooooooo!  
  
Erste Dame: *cheerleads* Der Vogelfanger! Er ist mein Mann! Wenn er kann nicht tun es, kein Mensch kann!  
^^The birdcatcher! He's my man! If he can't do it, no one can!^^  
  
Dritte Dame: Quit being insane...  
  
Zweite Dame: She can't stop, she was born that way.  
  
Erste Dame: Foo?  
  
Me: Hey, that word is copyright M-O-I! MOI! ^^French^^  
  
Erste Dame: Ani! ^^Hebrew^^  
  
Zweite Dame: Ich! ^^German^^  
  
Dritte Dame: Io! ^^Italian^^  
  
Papagena: Je! ^^Also French^^  
  
Sarastro: Do we know how to say that in any other languages?  
  
Me: Uhhhh...no.  
  
Papagena, Papageno's long lost lover, appears.  
  
(Note: Pay attention to that 'a' and 'o'. They're very important.)  
  
Papagena: Papageno, mon cher, what are you doing wrestling with that  
very hot prince?  
  
Papageno: What do you mean 'very hot'?! Do you like him?  
  
Papagena: As a matter of fact...yes!  
  
Papageno: WAS?! ^^What?!^^  
  
Pamina: You evil person! *thwack* LEAVE...TAMINO...ALONE! Er ist mein, und mein allein! ^^He is mine, and mine alone!^^  
  
Tamino: I like you too, Papagena...  
  
Papageno: Noooooooooooo!  
  
Papagena: Ich liebe dich, Prinz! ^^I love you, Prince!^^  
  
Papageno: Erk...  
  
Pamina: Fine then...ich liebe Papageno! ^^I love Papageno^^  
  
Sarastro: Okay, everybody...STILLE UND GEH'! ^^Shut up and go^^  
  
All: *stille's, but don't geh'*  
  
Sarastro: *sniff* Nobody loves me!  
  
Pamina: I don't. Ich liebe DICH, Papageno! Mwa! ^^I love YOU, Papageno!^^  
  
Papageno: Auch ich liebe dich. ^^Also, I love you.^^  
  
Me: KEIN...DEUTSCH...DU...DU...DU UNBARMHERZIGE KATZ! ^^NO...GERMAN...YOU...YOU...YOU MERCILESS CAT!^^  
  
Papageno: Katz? ^^Cat?^^  
  
Pamina: Katz? ^^Cat?^^  
  
All present: Katz? ^^Cat?^^  
  
Me: Eh...ja, Katz...oder vielliecht ein Vogel. ^^Eh...yes, cat...or perhaps a bird.^^  
  
Papagena: Er ist nicht ein Vogel! ^^He is not a bird!^^  
  
Me: Stille! ^^Shut up!^^  
  
Tamino: You are insane, h/m. Nobody writes magic flute cliches...  
  
Konigin der Nacht: Well she does! Now get over it, du listigen Vogel! ^^You cunning bird!^^  
  
Tamino: ...  
  
Papagena: Hey, Papageno's the only Vogel around here! *sniff* He took Pamina over me! ^^Vogel=Bird^^  
  
Pamina: Papageeeeeee-e-e-e-e-e-eno mein! O welch ein Gluck! ^^My Papageno! Oh, what a happiness!^^  
  
Papageno: Pami-i-i-i-ina-a-a-a mein! O welch ein Gluck! ^^My Pamina! Oh, what a happiness!^^  
  
Tamino: *smokes at the ears*  
  
Papagena: Aw, Tamino, it's all right...*hug* I love you.  
  
Sarastro: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Konigin der Nacht: Oh, armer Mann...ich liebe dich, Sarastro! ^^Oh, poor man...I love you, Sarastro!^^  
  
Zweiter Knabe: Didn't she say kein Deutsch? ^^No German?^^  
  
Me: Ja, du...um...du Knaus ohne Waffen! ^^Yes, you...um...you snail with no weapons!^^  
  
(Long silence.)  
  
Papageno: O-kay, h/m...  
  
Zweite Dame: He da, Knabe. *bats eyelashes* ^^Hey there, boy.^^  
  
Zweiter Knabe: He da, schone Dame. *winks* ^^Hey there, pretty lady.^^  
  
Erste Dame: Ich denk', das dieser fanfic ist ein Romanz...^^I think, that this fanfic is a romance...^^  
  
Me: Bwahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!  
  
Konigin der Nacht: *begins to laugh like she does in her Holle Rache  
aria*  
  
Sarastro: Du hast...du hast eine SEHR schone Stimm...*blushes* ^^You have...you have a VERY pretty voice^^  
  
Me: *sighs* Fine, du kann sprechen auf Deutsch... ^^You can speak in  
German^^  
  
ALL: YAYYYYYYYYY!  
  
Erster Knabe: Why are you looking at me like that?  
  
Erste Dame: Ummmm, no reason. *looks away, embarassed*  
  
Erster Knabe: C'mon...  
  
Erste Dame: Nur hierher, mein Schon. ^^Come here, my beauty.^^  
  
Erster Knabe: Ah, okay.  
  
Erster Dame/Erster Knabe: *mwah*  
  
Zweite Dame/Zweiter Knabe: *mwah*  
  
Dritte Dame/Dritter Knabe: *mwah*  
  
Tamino/Papagena: *mwah*  
  
Pamina/Papageno: *mwah*  
  
Sarastro/Konigin der Nacht: *mwah*  
  
Monostatos: Hey, what about me?  
  
Me: Eeew! *runs away*  
  
Monostatos: But...but...  
  
Me: *sighs heavily* Here. *hands Monostatos picture of Britney Spears*  
  
Monostatos: That girl...sie ist so...s-so...ach, das ist ein Gotterbild! *kisses poster of Britney Spears* ^^She is so...s-so...ah, that is a divine face!^^  
  
Britney Spears: Hit me baby one more time!  
  
Monostatos: Alles fuhlt der Liebe Freuden...und mich auch! ^^All may feel the joys of love...and me too!^^  
  
Britney Spears/Monostatos: *mwah*  
  
Me: Nun fort! ^^Go away!^^  
  
Britney Spears: Okies! *poof, she disappears in a puff of smoke along  
with Monostatos*  
  
Zwei Priestern: Und...? ^^And...?^^  
  
Me: Geh', du zwei Priestern. ^^Go, you two priests.^^  
  
Erster Priester: Doch...du kann nicht vergessen uns! ^^But...you cannot forget us!^^  
  
Zweiter Priester: Aaaw, forget about her. Like we told our initiates, "Bewahret euch-"  
  
Erster Priester: "-vor Weibertucken!"  
  
(Note: "Bewahret euch vor Weibertucken" = Protect against women's tricks)  
  
Me: *smokes at the ears*  
  
Zwei Priestern: Fwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!  
  
Me: *thwappow* Stirb, Priestern, durch uns're Maaaaaacht! ^^Die priests, through our power!^^  
  
Zwei Priestern: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  
  
Dritte Dame: Doch...du bist nicht mehr als eins, darum du kann nicht sag, "uns're". ^^But...you aren't more than one, so you can't say "our".^^  
  
Konigin der Nacht: Dude, dude, duuuuuuude! Wirst sie zu befreien ge-e-e-e-e-e-ehen!  
  
Sarastro: Komm hier! *mwah* ^^Come here!^^  
  
Konigin der Nacht: Pa-pa-pa-pa-papagena!  
  
Papagena: Hey that's my line!  
  
Sarastro: Pa-pa-pa-pa-papageno!  
  
Papageno: Hey that's my line!  
  
Tamino: Ich liebe dich, Papagena. ^^I love you^^  
  
Papagena: Ich liebe dich, Tamino. ^^I love you^^  
  
Konigin der Nacht/Sarastro: Papageno! Papagena! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-papageno! Der Eltern Segen werden sein! Der Eltern Segen werden sein! Papagena! Papageno! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-papagena! Der Eltern Segen werden sein!  
  
Me: ...  
  
Die Drei Damen: ...  
  
Der Drei Knaben: ...  
  
Pamina: Oh no! I've just realized something!  
  
Papageno: Was ist es? ^^What is it?^^  
  
Tamino: Ja, was? ^^Yes, what?^^  
  
Pamina: We have...we have been...*sobs* degraded!!!!!!  
  
Papagena: Wie? Weil nun wir sind character im "cliches?" ^^Why? Because now we are characters in "cliches?"^^  
  
Pamina: *sobs some more* J-j-j-j-jaaaaaaa! ^^Yes!^^  
  
Sarastro: Ach, armer Weib... ^^Ah, poor woman...*  
  
Konigin der Nacht: Doch sie ist meine Tochter! ^^But she is my daughter!^^  
  
Sarastro: Vergib, Weibchen. *mwah* ^^Forgive me, wifie.^^  
  
Konigin der Nacht: Ja, freilich, mein Liebe. ^^Yes, of course, my love.^^  
  
Me: Er, this fanfic is getting far too mushy for my tastes... *runs off and shuts the computer down*  
  
Computer: *is off*  
  
All Magic Flute characters: *disappear*  
  
Me: Nighty-night! *hops into bed and goes to sleep*  
  
*snooooooooore*  
  
*snooooooooore*  
  
*snooooooooore*  
  
A/N II: Review if ya want this 2 continue! *wink* Not that you particularly want it to, I'm rather sure. -_- Nobody loves me, waaaaaaahhhh...  
  
So far...the couples are   
Tamino/Papagena,   
Pamina/Papageno,   
Sarastro/the Queen,   
the ladies/the boys,   
the priests/no one,   
and Monostatos/Britney Spears.   
Maybe I will date Rodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov...or, for Phantom's benefit, maybe not. ^_^  
  
*if you're wondering who Rodion Romanovitch Raskolnikov is, read Crime and Punishment,es ist ein gute Buch*  
  
BTW, that meant:  
  
es = it  
ist = is  
ein = a  
gute = good  
Buch = book  
  
L'hitraot, adios, auf Weidersehn, au revoir, and addio! ^_^ C'mon, you  
had to understand ONE of those little goodbyes...  
  
A/N III: No, Rom, I am not making fun of Britney Spears. I LIKE Heinz Zednik, he and Britney Spears would be cool together. Poor little Zednik. He is shooooooooooooooort.  
  
Shorter than that word. ^_^ "WORD" Poor little Jareddy-Jareddy-Jared. He has the fluuuuuuuuu. Fooooooooo. Foppyyyyyyyyyyyy.  
  
Odongos don't shimmy! This fanfic was half German! Foo! La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la!!!  
  
Bye-bye. And PLEASE, PLEASE, R/R! Thank you. ^_^ 


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